If you love the NFL like I do, you’ve probably consumed a ton of mocks this week, with it being NFL Draft Week.
To mix it up a little, I wanted to cook up a fun mini-mock — literally.
I had the idea to take who I believe will be the first 10 picks of the draft and liken those players to … various cuts of meat.
As some of you may know, I’m a former offensive lineman, so naturally, my mind gravitated toward beef.
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I tried to keep it fun and lighthearted, so let’s cut to the chase.
1. Chicago Bears — Caleb Willams
Steak grade: Tomahawk ribeye
The best of the best. It’s “The special” at every steakhouse. And all the teams that need a quarterback — and some that don’t right now — would draft Williams if they were given the opportunity. A tomahawk ribeye is highly marbled, very tender and flavorful, and that matches how Williams throws the football.
ODDS TO BE NO. 1 PICK: -20000
2. Washington Commanders — Jayden Daniels
Steak grade: Filet
A filet is the preferred cut of meat for some, with its beefy, juicy and fine taste. Some consider it to be the best cut of beef; others think it’s not rich enough. Similarly, Daniels would be the first quarterback selected for many. However, in this year’s draft, enough people prefer Caleb’s flavor, which means Jayden “Filet” Daniels goes No. 2.
ODDS TO BE NO. 2 PICK: -400
3. New England Patriots — Drake Maye
Steak grade: Brisket
If you cook a brisket at the right temperature and for the proper amount of time, it has plenty of upside. If you give Maye time to grow in an offense with good weapons, blocking and the right scheme, he will turn into a tender piece of brisket. If he’s overcooked — in this case, meaning he’s rushed into playing before all the ingredients are there — the meat will be ruined.
ODDS TO BE TOP-5 PICK: -2000
4. Arizona Cardinals — Marvin Harrison Jr.
Steak grade: A5 Wagyu
Wagyu is rich and flavorful, with a smooth, buttery taste — that’s just how Harrison runs his routes on the field. Harrison is an exceptional athlete who’ll be immediately delicious in the Cardinals offense.
ODDS TO BE TOP-5 PICK: -1800
5. Minnesota Vikings — J.J. McCarthy (TRADE)
Steak grade: Short ribs
Now, short ribs are not for everyone, but in the hands of someone who knows how to cook them to proper tenderness, they are full of delicious flavor. McCarthy is going fifth overall because of his upside, arm talent and intangibles. His ascension to being an elite quarterback will take time, as he doesn’t have as many NFL throws on tape as his peers.
ODDS TO BE TOP-5 PICK: -150
6. New York Giants — Malik Nabers
Steak grade: Bone-in Delmonico
Whether it’s cut from the short loin or the rib, a Delmonico steak has an explosive flavor — just like Nabers’ ability to make highlight plays on the field. His ability to win with his athleticism will be on display for the Giants at the No. 6 pick.
ODDS TO BE NO. 6 PICK: +170
7. Tennessee Titans — Joe Alt
Steak grade: Porterhouse
Need I say more? The Porterhouse is a steak with a serving size of two or more people is an apt way to describe this tackle out of Notre Dame. Alt is a mammoth human at 6-foot-9 and 321 pounds and will immediately become the rock of the Titans’ offensive line.
ODDS TO BE TOP-10 PICK: -1500
8. Atlanta Falcons — Dallas Turner/ Byron Murphy II
Steak grade: NY Strip
The NY Strip is a dependable steak with intense flavor, and the Falcons would be getting that with either one of these guys. Either player would be a fantastic addition to a Falcons defense that needs to rush the passer with more intensity.
ODDS TO BE TOP-10 PICK: -105/ +175
9. Chicago Bears — Rome Odunze
Steak grade: Picanha
The Picanha is a super tender and flavorful cut of beef that’s not popular in the States. Odunze played in the Pacific Northwest, and I don’t think he’s regarded as highly as he should be. Maybe it’s because I’ve watched him torch my Oregon Ducks for two years in a row, but trust me, all Rome does is catch the football, no matter where it’s thrown. He will be an immediate star in the league.
ODDS TO BE TOP-10 PICK: -1500
10. New York Jets — Brock Bowers
Steak grade: Ground beef
Is Bowers a tight end? A wide receiver? A slot player? An H-back? Ground beef is versatile. Burgers, meatloaf, meatballs and more. You get a little bit of everything, just like you do with Bowers.
ODDS TO BE TOP-10 PICK: +105
Geoff Schwartz is an NFL analyst for FOX Sports. He played eight seasons in the NFL for five different teams. He started at right tackle for the University of Oregon for three seasons and was a second-team All-Pac-12 selection his senior year. Follow him on Twitter @GeoffSchwartz.
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