Every Sunday, there are quarterbacks we can rely on and ones who we don’t feel so certain about. And every year around Halloween, we have the candies that we gravitate toward and the ones we aren’t so sure about.
In the Halloween spirit, Colin Cowherd decided to match quarterbacks with certain candies based on how much he likes them (the quarterback and candy) and the candy’s reliability as a tasty treat. Some might not be super surprising, although Cowherd didn’t compare any quarterback to Kit-Kats or Life Savers despite calling them great candies.
So, which candy is going to make you say you got a Patrick Mahomes while trick-or-treating? Here are Cowherd’s quarterback-candy comps.
Cowherd’s take: “Easiest one. Most popular, best in the game right now, Patrick leads the NFL in total touchdowns and ranks second in total yards this year. He’s on a heater. That’s easily, by the way, the most ordered Halloween candy by a long shot.”
Bo Nix: Dark chocolate
Cowherd’s take: “I love him, but I think it’s an acquired taste. I’m not sure if anyone else even likes it. I’m like 87%, 92% — what do I care? During his five-game winning streak, in the fourth quarter alone, he has 13 touchdowns and two picks. Bo Nix, baby. Bo-eautiful.”
Cowherd’s take: “Very intense, but you learn to love it. Listen, he leads the NFL with 82 touchdown passes since joining the Bucs in 2024. He can be a little reckless. It takes a little while to get used to it. But you know what, you’re down a couple of those Warheads and you’re all in.”
Cowherd’s take: “He’s complex, and so is this candy. It’s got a hardened exterior, but it’s totally different inside. Completely different inside. The Steelers are averaging 25 points per game. That’s what they’re doing right now. That’s their best in five or six years. It’s not great for your teeth. But on the outside and inside, it’s very complex. It’s two different candies.”
Cowherd’s take: “People love it, but it’s something that’s totally overrated. He’s won 20 of his last 22 games. So, he’s dependable. He’s always there. [The Eagles] have one of the highest three-and-out percentages in the NFL. So, you’re either with it or you’re not at all.
“It’s a little bit like candle wax. I’m a texture guy. There’s certain textures I can’t do.”
Cowherd’s take: “We both love Stafford. He’s Ol’ Reliable, just like a Hershey Bar. You know what you’re getting. He’s never bad. He leads the NFL in touchdown passes and big plays, second-highest rated passer. It goes with almost anything — fifth-round wide receiver, fifth-round running back, undrafted left tackle. The classic, 37-year-old, still good.”
Cowherd’s take: “The Butterfinger sounds good, but is it? I’m not sure if it is. He’s 9-15, completion percentage has declined this season and ranks 24th. I don’t know, I used to get stuff in my teeth, weird aftertaste, I don’t know if I like it.”
Cowherd’s take: “The staff came up with this. You’re never quite sure what you just experienced. Well, what is it? He leads the NFL with 74 turnovers since he entered the league and his record is 26-41. It’s good? No, it’s not? What is it? I’m not sure. He’s talented, but he turns the ball over. I don’t know what to make of Trevor Lawrence — or the Mystery Airhead.”
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